THE SAME THING HAPPENED TO HUGH G. RECTION; RUINED HIS CAREER I TELLS YA! From the Foreign Policy Blog: Despite having served for years as a distinguished Pakistani diplomat, Akbar Zeb reportedly cannot receive accreditation as Pakistan’s ambassador to Saudi Arabia. The reason, apparently, has nothing to do with his credentials, and everything to do with his name — which, in Arabic, translates to “biggest dick.” [Foreign Policy Blog]
Posted in Sexytime, Traveling to the Foreigns, Weirdnesses, World News | Tagged but he's a hit with the ladies, fail, sad!, Sexy Fridays, what's in a name? | Leave a Comment »
JESUS H. CHRIST: Alabama Senator Richard Shelby’s office has finally confirmed to TPMDC that Shelby has in fact placed a hold on the President’s nominees because “blah blah blah … national security concerns … blah blah blah.” Those gosh darn terrorists are always ruining things for Americans, aren’t they?
His spokesperson had this to say:
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“The Obama Administration wants to read terrorists our Miranda rights and try them in U.S. courts but is impeding the processing of evidence that could lead to convictions.” (huh?) “If this administration were as worried about hunting down terrorists as it is about the confirmation of low-level political nominations, America would be a safer place.”
Oh, snap. Burn! [What the fuck are they even talking about?? - Editor B C]
Posted in Politicking, The End of the World, Wingnuts | Tagged dear terrorists: please bomb Alabama, earmarks, Obama Administration, Richard Shelby, the terrorists have won maybe...wut? | Leave a Comment »
STORY SEEMS CRACKER-Y, LET’S INVESTIGATE: Sen. Richard Shelby (R-AL) has taken the historically unprecedented step of blocking all of President Obama’s Senate nominations, fueling speculation he is a) issuing the blanket hold on all the president’s nominees until his earmarks are approved, and b) he’s a smoldering asshole. (Shelby has been curiously mum on both of these possibilities, so feel free to speculate.)
From Talking Points Memo:
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According to [a] report, Shelby is holding Obama’s nominees hostage until a pair of lucrative programs that would send billions in taxpayer dollars to his home state get back on track. The two programs Shelby wants to move forward or else:
- A $40 billion contract to build air-to-air refueling tankers. From CongressDaily: “Northrop/EADS team would build the planes in Mobile, Ala., but has threatened to pull out of the competition unless the Air Force makes changes to a draft request for proposals.” Federal Times offers more details on the tanker deal, and also confirms its connection to the hold.
- An improvised explosive device testing lab for the FBI. From CongressDaily: “[Shelby] is frustrated that the Obama administration won’t build” the center, which Shelby earmarked $45 million for in 2008. The center is due to be based “at the Army’s Redstone Arsenal.”
Though a Shelby spokesperson would not confirm that these programs were behind the blanket hold, the Senator expressed his frustration about the progress on both through a spokesperson to both CongressDaily and the Federal Times.
A San Diego State University professor and Congressional expert told the Mobile paper “he knew of no previous use of a blanket hold” in recent history.
Senate Democrats now need a 60-vote cloture to break the hold, unless Shelby himself lifts it. In the meantime, to help Alabama make ends meet, you can send $10 by texting “FUKOFF” to 40044. [TPM]
UPDATE: The White House has blasted Richard Shelby’s propensity to be a douchetard this morning. From the New York Times:
- Roberts Gibbs, the White House press secretary, sharply criticized Mr. Shelby’s actions, calling it the best instance yet for how Washington is broken. “I guess if you needed one example of what’s wrong with this town, it might be that one senator can hold up 70 qualified individuals to make government work better because he didn’t get his earmarks,” Mr. Gibbs told reporters today. “If that’s not the poster child for how this town needs to change the way it works, I fear there won’t be a greater example of silliness throughout the entire year of 2010.”
He added: “It boggles the mind to hold up qualified nominees for positions that are needed to perform functions in a government because you didn’t get two earmarks.”
KA-BOOM. [NY Times]
Posted in Lawmaking, Politicking, Wingnuts | Tagged Alabama, earmarks, Jim Crow era switcheroos, president Obama, Richard Shelby, Senate nominations | Leave a Comment »
Oh looksy, the January jobless data report is out! And, just like it’s been the case for most months over the last year and a half, more jobs were lost. Something like 20,000 was it? And analysts and economists and the administration fear that economic recovery might be slower than anticipated. Again. I mean, at what point do we start revising our expectations? I would think after the 10th month or so, you rethink your projections, no?
And because that’s not depressing enough, it turns out that Europe might be heading into deeper economic trouble as well, what with Greece on the brink of insolvency, Spain’s housing bubble, and Portugal, Ireland, and Italy facing outrageous (and rising) deficits, and the rest of the E.U. wondering how they’ll go about bailing their asses out, before their markets and their currency dip even lower.
Amusingly, Wall Street turned to U.S. Treasury securities, for a safe investment. Ha Ha. [NY Times] [Wall Street Journal]
Posted in Economy, The End of the World, World News | Tagged doom, economic recovery, Economy, finance, unemployment, USA! | Leave a Comment »
THANKS FOR THE HEADS UP: “‘An attempted attack … is certain, I would say,’ Director of National Intelligence Dennis Blair told a Senate hearing on terror threats.” Okay cool, cuz we weren’t sure. [NY Daily News]
Posted in Terrorisms, The End of the World, Weirdnesses | Tagged Al Qaeda, oh yeah those guys, stick-to-it-iveness, terrorist updates, The CIA | Leave a Comment »
Under proposals from a cross-party Parliamentary Commission in France today, Muslim women face a ban on full veils on French transport and in other public services by the end of this year. MPs predicted that a law outlawing burqas or other face covering in state services could very well pass into law within months in France. While stopping short of a full ban, the proposed ban would require people show their faces when entering any public service, including transport, universities, hospitals, job centres, post offices and so on. They would have to “keep the face uncovered throughout their presence”. Failure to do so would result “in a refusal to deliver the service demanded”.
President Sarkozy, the Commission, and a good number of Parliament members posit that the “wearing of the full veil is a challenge to our republic, … [and] unacceptable.” They argue that full veils are a breach of women’s equality and a rejection of France’s egalitarian values.
This, of course, is excellent, albeit specious and hypocritical reasoning, that populist France seems to be eating right up. If a government or a country actually gave a shit about women’s equality, it would take under consideration the privacy and liberty Muslim women can often find in being veiled. It would also take into account the religious practices and beliefs of its citizens, and understand that part of being an egalitarian state means respect for and tolerance of various religions within your country. And if, as some will note, the issue is the sexist and discriminatory nature of certain religions, then I would like to remind them that a state, or any other governing or authoritative body, limiting or deciding women’s choices for them, in any capacity, is equally sexist. Because choice includes the option to veil one’s self.
But of course, in a time of xenophobia, racism, and utter panic for the ruling, conservative (and often white) members of our society, we must pander to alleviate their fears and enable them to regain power and control. Women’s rights, democracy, and egalitarian values are just the latest phrases being employed in this game of manipulation.
Posted in Lawmaking, Politicking, World News | Tagged burqas, France, laws, Muslims, Religion, sexism, women's rights | 1 Comment »
UMM?? “I’d rather be a really good one-term president than a mediocre two-term president.” Yeah, just like the great one-termer … and … uh … that other guy. What, the fuck is he even talking about? Methinks Our Barry is having himself a sad. [ABC News]
Posted in Politicking, The End of the World | Tagged dumb things to say, libtard blues, president Obama, USA! | Leave a Comment »
THIS SHOULD DO THE TRICK: Barack Obama, the President of Being Hated By Everyone, is proposing a spending freeze on many of our finest domestic programs. Ta-da. These include the budgets for air traffic control, farm subsidies, education, nutrition and national parks. No worries though – all the important things, such as the War Chest, and Medicaid, Medicare, and Social Security, will remain on schedule to fuck us into oblivion. [NY Times]
Posted in Economy, The End of the World | Tagged budget deficit, president Obama, spending freeze, USA! | Leave a Comment »
Today’s Creepy Sexy Friday! is brought to you by Holiday Inn. The international hotel chain is offering a trial human bed-warming service at three hotels in Britain this month. Basically, if a guest requests it, a “willing” staff member will dress in an all-in-one fleece sleeper suit, and slip between the sheets, to warm up the bed to a cozy (?) 68 F degrees before guests jump in. And, no worries, the bed warmer would leave before the guest shows up (but won’t the bed get cold again?).
The pièce de résistance? Hotel reps refused to confirm whether the bed warmer would shower, prior to ‘warming’ guest beds. Hahahahahaha. [Yahoo]
Posted in Sexytime, Traveling to the Foreigns | Tagged bed warmers, good ideas, Sexy Fridays, someone jizzed on mine | Leave a Comment »
MARK KRIKORIAN…GO: “My guess is that Haiti’s so screwed up because it wasn’t colonized long enough.” Those italics are all his, by the way. Oh, you want more? Well, Mark:
“But, unlike Jamaicans and Bajans and Guadeloupeans, et al., after experiencing the worst of tropical colonial slavery, the Haitians didn’t stick around long enough to benefit from it. (Haiti became independent in 1804.). And by benefit I mean develop a local culture significantly shaped by the more-advanced civilization of the colonizers. Sure, their creole language is influenced by French, but they never became black Frenchmen, like the Martiniquais, or “Afro-Saxons,” like the Barbadians. Where a similar creolization took place in Africa, you saw a similar thing — the Cape Coloureds, who are basically black Afrikaaners, and even the Swahili peoples of the east African coast, who are Arabized blacks. A major indicator of how superficial is the overlay of French culture in Haiti is the strength of paganism, in the form of voodoo — the French just weren’t around long enough to suppress it, to the detriment of Haitians.”
Jesus. They weren’t colonized long enough. JESUS CHRIST. [National Review: The Corner]
Posted in Racisms, The End of the World, Traveling to the Foreigns, Wingnuts | Tagged cross-eyed people, Mark Krikorian, slavery over too soon, the Haiti problem | 1 Comment »
We here at CTJ are always tickled when we come across the racist, elitist spewings of some slob ignoramus or other on the interwebs. Enter The National Review’s Jonah Goldberg as Douchebag of the Day.
Opining on the difficulties facing Haiti – their poverty, specifically – Goldberg argues that Haiti has a “poverty culture,” which is basically to blame for the earthquake being so deadly to the country. Why? Because everyone knows that “the closer you are to living in a state of nature, the crueler nature will be [to you]“…. What does that even mean, you ask? Who the fuck knows! But I think the gist of it is that Jonah Goldberg doesn’t care if Haiti has been exploited, abused, and betrayed since its days as a colony, or that its poverty stems from the very legacy of racism and colonialism inflicted on it by Whitey (Frenchie?)… What he cares about is that it’s really the victims’ faults for continuing this poverty by continuing to be Haitian and cultural and shit.
So what should Haiti do? Why, abandon its culture, of course! Duh. Here’s Goldberg to explain it all to you poor, colored dummies:
“When Haitians leave Haiti for the U.S. they get richer almost overnight. This isn’t simply because wages are higher here or welfare payments more generous.” Or because actual jobs exists, thanks to the sad bourgeois proclivities of most Americans. But let us get back. “Coming to America is a cultural leap of faith, physically and psychologically. Arnold Kling and Nick Schulz note in their phenomenal new book, From Poverty to Prosperity, that low-skilled Mexican laborers become 10 to 20 times more productive simply by crossing the border into the United States. William Lewis, former director of the McKinsey Global Institute, found that illiterate, non-English-speaking Mexican agricultural laborers in the U.S. were four times more productive than the same sorts of laborers in Brazil.
Why? Because American culture not only expects hard work, but teaches the unskilled how to work hard.”
You see, Haiti’s problem is that it lacks in “intelligible assets,” what Goldberg defines as “wealth … found in our heads and in the habits of our hearts,” and in turn depends too much “on the kindness of strangers … [rather than] on itself.” Haitians are a bunch of no good, lazy, immoral bastards, y’hear? Once a slave, always a slave, I guess! But, oh, wait, “my brother is married to a Haitian immigrant” so like, I didn’t mean it like that, okay everybody? “I say this with the best of intentions.”
Hey, Jonah. Why don’t you get your illegal driver to drop you off at the Grand Canyon, so you can stand very close to the edge and take a “cultural leap of faith” across the great US of A, and come back and tell us all about the work ethos you acquired? Hmm? I say this with the best of intentions. [National Review]
Posted in Sicknesses, The End of the World, Traveling to the Foreigns, Wingnuts | Tagged fat slobs, God hates Haitians, Haiti, Jonah Goldberg, poor people like being poor, why nepotism sucks | 1 Comment »
Today, President Obama proposed legislation aimed at limiting the scope and size of large financial institutions. The changes would prohibit bank holding companies from owning, investing, or sponsoring hedge fund or private equity funds. It would also prohibit them from engaging in proprietary trading of financial securities – including mortgage-backed securities – which is what most people blame for the whole financial meltdown thingie that happened back in 2008. Other fascist goals by Obama include limiting consolidation in the financial sector, by placing curbs on the growht of the market share of liabilities at the biggest firms in the industry.
Wall Street douchebags and traders (read: investors) got really nervous about the mere possibility of regulation, and sent bank shares down left and right, depressing the beloved market. Jesus, guys, relax! He only proposed regulations. Congress still has to pass them, and with the finance lobby groups already scrambling, I’m pretty sure you have much of nothing to fear. Just talk to Goldman. [NY Times]
Posted in Economy | Tagged president Obama, regulations, wall street | Leave a Comment »
HEALTH CARE BILL? WHAT HEALTH CARE BILL?? Speaker Nancy Pelosi said today “I don’t see the votes for [passing the Senate bill] at this time.” Well, there goes that whole reform thing. It was a novel idea, for about 5 seconds there. [Talking Points Memo]
Posted in Health, Lawmaking, Politicking, The End of the World | Tagged compromises, health care reform, hope and change, Nancy Pelosi | Leave a Comment »
An analysis of the location of poverty in the States’ largest metro areas in 2006, 2007, and 2008 reveals the following scary facts:
- By 2008, suburbs were home to the largest and fastest-growing poor population in the country. Between 2000 and 2008, suburbs in the country’s largest metro areas saw their poor population grow by 25 percent.
- Midwestern cities and suburbs (auto manufacturing metro areas particularly) experienced by far the largest poverty rate increases over the decade.
- In 2008, 91.6 million people – more than 30 percent of the nation’s population – fell below 200 percent of the federal poverty line (!!)
- Western cities and Florida suburbs were among the first to see the effects of the “Great Recession” translate into significant increases in poverty between 2007 and 2008.
These trends are all expected to continue, and often worsen, over the next few years, considering the shitty state of things pretty much everywhere in this country. [Brookings]
Posted in Economy | Tagged abject poverty, disasters, doom, the economy, USA! | Leave a Comment »
Not News: According to the latest official report released on Tuesday by the UN’s Office on Drugs and Crime, kickbacks are Afghanistan’s second biggest income generator, accounting for 23 percent ($2.5 billion) of the country’s gross domestic product. US and international officials, of course, are stunned at the pervasiveness of corruption, and the unwillingness of Afghani leadership to crack down on the very industry that enables them to live like kings.
News: The largest income generator in Afghanistan? The booming opium trade, which brings in an estimated $2.8 billion annually. But no no, the drug trade had nothing to do with us entering Afghanistan.
Afghanistan is kinda gangster, non? The modern day Wild West and shit. Carry on! [Mother Jones]
Posted in Politicking, The End of the World, Traveling to the Foreigns, War, World News | Tagged Afghanistan, bribery, not wars on drugs, USA!, wars | Leave a Comment »
THIS SHOULD WORK OUT PRETTY GOOD: Just this morning, the Supreme Court overturned a 20-year-old ruling that prohibited corporations from using their profligate profits to support candidates and pay for campaign ads, officially declaring consumerism and capitalism the law of the land. And because the American political consciousness/system isn’t already trivial and subjective enough, now people will vote for candidates based on whether they love Pepsi or Coke. Is there anything that is not for sale in this country? It’s a wonder more people don’t hate us. [NY Times]
Posted in Economy, Lawmaking, Politicking | Tagged bad rulings, bribery, financing laws, the supreme court, USA? USA? | Leave a Comment »
SHOCKERS: Disgraced human John Edwards, after months of changing poopy diapers, finally admitted today that he would not have been changing said poopy diapers, if they weren’t the poopy diapers of his little daughter. Awwww:
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“I am Quinn’s father. I will do everything in my power to provide her with the love and support she deserves. I have been able to spend time with her during the past year and trust that future efforts to show her the love and affection she deserves can be done privately and in peace. It was wrong for me ever to deny she was my daughter and hopefully one day, when she understands, she will forgive me. I have been providing financial support for Quinn and have reached an agreement with her mother to continue providing support in the future. To all those I have disappointed and hurt these words will never be enough, but I am truly sorry.”
Is there anything else to add? Probably not. We’ve already been mean enough to dumbass John Edwards and that crazy lady he impregnated in previous posts. So let’s just say… uh … good luck, little baby! [NY Times]
Posted in Media, Politicking, Sexytime, TeeVee | Tagged john edwards, rielle hunter | Leave a Comment »
HUZZAH! This fine feller, Scott Brown, is your new Ted Kennedy!! And just like Ole Teddy, he is a Republican, hates health care reform, and will show you his long-ass pubes at the drop of a hat. One of those things is true!
Martha Coakley, Brown’s opponent in the race, was defeated 52% to 47%, after running the worst campaign since Rudolph Giuliani’s bid for the presidency in 2008. (But at least that one was funny, amirite?) Coakley will maybe now concede that the “Vote for Me Or Whatever” strategy is not a sound strategy! Oh well, the Democrats in Congress are now doomed, as they only have 59 seats in the Senate. Barack Obama, the black President of Socialism and Hand Outs, is also ruined by this, so say people who shout on teevee all the time. [NY Times] [Salon]
FUN FACT: During his weirdo celebratory speech last night, Scott Brown introduced his daughters to the crowd and told everyone, “they’re available.” ‘Hey come try and fuck my girl children, America!‘ Ugh.
Posted in Politicking, Wingnuts | Tagged health care reform, Martha Coakley, naked people, Scott Brown, Ted Kennedy | Leave a Comment »
ECONOMY, AS SUCH: We’re not sure this is news anymore, but the U.S. economy continues to sucketh. New reports released today show increases in new jobless claims (more than expected), a decline in retail sales, and yet more people facing foreclosures. 2010 will be awesome! [NPR]
Posted in Economy, The End of the World | Tagged hooray! the economy | Leave a Comment »
On his Christian Broadcasting Network today, televangelist Pat Robertson told his viewers that the unfortunate earthquake Haiti suffered yesterday was due to the country “being cursed” from having made “a pact with the devil.” This “pact” was made back when the French were raping and colonizing the shit out of the country, and Haitians had to turn to the EVIL ONE for help, and you know, humane treatment (recognition?). So… I guess what the Devil here is saying is that Haitian people deserve yesterday’s catastrophe for thinking, that one time, that they shouldn’t be abused by whitey.
Hm. How can I create a God to smite this piece of shit? [Salon]
Posted in Animals, Religion, The End of the World, Traveling to the Foreigns, World News | Tagged atheism for the win!, crazy people, God hates Haitians, our leading Christians, Pat Robertson, subtle headlines | Leave a Comment »
BUT I GOTS TO WATCH IDOL!! A new study by a bunch of Australian researchers, found that every hour spent watching TeeVee or sitting in front of a monitor each day increases the risk of dying from heart disease by almost a fifth (!!!). By monitoring 8,800 adults for six years, scientists found that people who sat in front of the TV for more than four hours a day were 80% more likely to die for reasons linked to heart and artery disease than individuals who watch less than two hours of TV a day. Overall, each hour spent per day in front of some screen or other (read: sitting down) increased the risk of death from all causes by 11%. This holds true even for people who work out and/or are not overweight or obese. The reason is that people no longer move their muscles as much as they used to, which has an unhealthy influence on blood sugar and blood fats.
What this means for the U.S., where two-thirds of adults are overweight or obese, a ton of people work in front of computers nine-to-five, and a bunch of others spend as much as eight hours watching television, remains to be seen. I, personally, will be going for a walk. [The Independent UK]
Posted in Animals, Health, Sicknesses, TeeVee | Tagged death, health and fitness, hooray, the teevee | Leave a Comment »
IT’S TRUE! Read what everyone’s favorite disgraced idiot said to Esquire, about how he, like Steve Martin in “The Jerk“, ‘was born a poor black child’:
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“It’s such a cynical business, and most of the people in the business are full of shit and phonies, but I was real, man—and am real. This guy, he was catapulted in on hope and change, what we hope the guy is. What the fuck? Everything he’s saying’s on the teleprompter. I’m blacker than Barack Obama. I shined shoes. I grew up in a five-room apartment. My father had a little laundromat in a black community not far from where we lived. I saw it all growing up.”
Yeah, son!
Anyway, if you’re scoring at home, shining shoes = doing black people shit. [Esquire: The Notorious Blago]
Posted in Media, Politicking | Tagged fun interviews, not black people, people who look like Lego, people who want to be black people, Rod Blagojevich | 2 Comments »
Kevin Drum over at Mother Jones has an excellent article up on the financialization of America and the politics behind the financial meltdown of 2008 in which he delineates how over the last 30 years, the finance lobby has successfully and fundamentally changed the way we think about the world, convincing us that the success of the financial sector should be measured not by how well it provides financial services to actual consumers and corporations, but by how effectively financial firms make money for themselves, and the implications of this on consumers, our economy and our politics. Must read.
Posted in Economy | Tagged deregulation, economic crisis, finance lobby, neoliberalism, politics, wall street | Leave a Comment »
